I think my fart just growled at me.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
