hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
