I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
