Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We don't watch enough power rangers
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
