i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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