nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
