did you get engaged???
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
