BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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