I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
