I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
