My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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