I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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