I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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