You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
