lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
