Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
