Your face is a jimmy john
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
