none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
