Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
