I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
