She went from zero to smokin in five shots
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
