Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
