How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
