she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Even my vagina gasped.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
