But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
