Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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