Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
