My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho