my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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