Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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