lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
