I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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