So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
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all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
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threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.