You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
