I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
