my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
cat food counts as protein by the way
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
