It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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