im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
