Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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