Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
