My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize