My balls are so social today.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize