Your tits are I can't wait for
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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