Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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