I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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