Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
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