Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I party with great urgency now.
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