can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
