now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
