well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
