Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
