Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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