DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
