I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
