He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Congratulations! We have a period
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