dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I deserve this hangover.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
