I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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