haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
