i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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