She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
