He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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