it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Randomize
