No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
